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growl

just a quick note.

I cant handle these daily quips & comments when we go out anymore.


They say - Are they deaf? (pointing to my kids)
My reply usually is - yup 
What I really want to do is - start miming. ooh, i'm stuck in what appears to be a box. oh, a rope & mime climb out.


They say - I know how to sign my name (commence the stroke victim, I'm going to cramp, hand gestures)
My reply usually is - help them figure out half the letters and say, that's great.
What I really should do is - grab their hands and break their fingers since they just need their mouth to talk.

or

They say - My son/daughter/cousin/ape at the zoo/sister's boyfriend/brother's boyfriend/neighbor/etc (choose one) knows, the sign language/a deaf kid/has a deaf neighbor/is death too (choose one again). 
My reply usually is - yeah, the sign language/deaf kid/deaf neighbor/death... it's really out there now days. 
What I really should say is - Call the postman! Who fucking cares!!!

or when I have to spell my name out... 


They say - Mania? like Mania?
My reply usually is - it's Polish and pronounced mineya not mania.
What I really want to say is -  Yes, mother fucker do I look like an infant? Do you think this is the 1st time I ever heard this?

or when I'm invited over for dinner or out to eat...

They say -  You don't eat meat? I love meat. I cant imagine not eating meat.
My reply usually is - Yeah, I don't eat pork, beef or any game meat.
What I really want to do is - drop on all fours and groAAAARGHHHwl while trying to bite a hunk of meat out of their cheek or shoulder.

I'm so sure if his holiness the Dalai Lama heard the dumb things that I hear every day he'd even clench his jaw shut to refrain from blurting out obscenities or punching someone in the neck.


That's all...