I often write my thoughts down everywhere because more often than not I really annoy myself but sometimes I think I am funny and laugh. Here's one I wrote and I know It will offend people but this is when I will grab my right boob and say, former milk bag, I don't care!
preach- You pray to Jesus, I'll keep my plastic unicorn. We both love the mythical stuff but mine doesn't drive me to babble or foam at the mouth preaching it.... unless it's a baby unicorn then I flip the fuck out because come on, those are so adorbs! Baby Jesus, in my opinion, was so average looking. Speaking of average looking... who's the old ball and chain, in the manger with "Virgin" Mary? The one wearing a headband over a sheet. They look pretty tight and Joe's adoring that average looking baby just as much as her. I can see that hipster's thought bubbles, it says {"wtf is that smell and why are we outside with the animals? Lordy, I drank way too much red wine when I should be out looking for a better job. My own kid is born in a manger :(... wait, isnt this super creepy that all the animals are just staring at us like this? Jesus, it's cold as fuck out and he has no clothes on laying in hay! Did I just say Jesus? We should totally call him Jesus, that sounds pimp."}
Here's Mary's thought bubbles {"my peepeeth hurteths. Toucheth thy vaginath again & Joseph shall be shanketh"}
It's a good thing I am a leaver loner (hence the whole "typing in MY blog than chanting this on the television" to millions of folks) You make fun of sign language, I make fun of you praying & talking to air. Praying to the air asking for stuff feels really, really, odd. I do it once in awhile because it's hilarious to feel so "off" but I understand the feeling. It's the power of funny. "Jesus, dont let me kill my child" and what do you know? My child is a living, thriving, yappy ball of 'tude. She cant thank Jesus for that! She can thank me for tuning everything out and going to my little "off, talking to the air" land to distract me from strangling her.
Raised Catholic, these are my thoughts and I am allowed to have them. Everyone is allowed to believe in whatever we want. I promise I will never preach to you about my silly gnomes, unicorns and mother earth again, as long as you shut the fuck up about your silly beliefs to me. I'm super content believing in my own fun stuff, by myself... shouldn't Christians be?