I love everything about the Volunteers of America thrift stores yet I hate everything about shopping. Well, I hate shopping there with my Mom (who, let me just say, I love my Mom & would do anything for her. I would keep her as my cute pet rather than sending her off to a nursing home but she better shape up because this shopping thing is whack) She will pick out two exact same things except one is priced higher and she buys the higher priced one. We're at the thrift store, mooom!! We purposely came here to *speaking slowly* because she's getting funny in the head these days. "s a v e m o o o n n e e y". Anyhow, she goes off her merry ways to find 'great deals' on hoodies for the kids and wants to avoid me because I am an embarrassment with no taste in high, hand me downs, fashion. The kids and I make a beeline straight for the crap department where all the forgotten toys are to explore. I couldn't believe my eyes... it was like seeing that Elvis really is alive and pumping gas. There were 3 pairs of skates, no lie, all in our sizes, ok... i did lie, Anya's is about 8 sizes too big but talk about a bargain, she'll be able to skate down her wedding if she wants because they'll probably fit perfectly by the time her feet stop growing. SOLD! I don't think girl parts are called groins but I pulled what felt like a groin muscle when I put one skate on and that foot rolled away while the other foot stayed planted on the ground. "Ow, they fit" I sign shouted! Sign me up, I'm gonna be a derby girl! Jerrick had his on already and was skating around like Dorothy Hamilton on the smooth linoleum floors. I noticed some people started crowding to steal our excitement away, I am sure of it. "HISSS!" I ... uh, hissed. "Mine, all mine! Quick put em in the carts, grab everything, skates, knee pads, helmet, wrist guards, mouth guards, ew, no! not the used mouth guards". We ran and found my Mom and were all pretty much foaming at the mouth now because we're so happy. She in turn, felt it was her immediate duty to remind me that I am no longer a graceful, limber, delicate flower (hellooo! I know that, this is the reason I am still holding my 'groin' duh) that I'm also overweight, have not skated in years, and that I have NO insurance for my future broken hip. Whatev Mom! Don't be a skater hater. We're totally a derby family now, don't mess with us. She's just hating on us because we scored big time and all she found was a couple of overpriced hoodies covered in bed bugs and the bubonic plague.
