Population Control # 62,211,054

So, is there a reason why we're not adding a good inch to that platform that raises my bread in toasters? Do the toaster folks get some kind of profit from ambulance rides,  burn creams or band-aids? 
Every day!!! Drop your bread into the abyss - push the handle to sink the bread deeper in the abyss - wait for bread to startle you when it humps/thrusts itself up from the abyss - watch it collapse back into the bitch abyss. 
All those people who ended their lives by stabbing their toasters with butter knives. shame. NOw that I think of it... is it a coincidence that I eat that bible bread? I wonder what Ezekiel 4:9 means?
I stand over the crucifying, hot, full of voltage, metal, hell box armed with a butter knife of cold candle wax unsalted butter, waiting to pounce on it like a lion to a gnu, yet settled just enough to remind myself to NOT to stab the toast with a knife because then I'll just die and that sucks for my kids.
Population Control #62,211,054 - along with cast iron pans, candles in jars and those biscuits that pop out of a can  (I know it will pop but I still have a coronary every time it does) 

PS- In case you said "why don't you just buy a toaster OVEN?", under your breath. I shall let you know,  I threw out my toaster oven long ago because my hands are not the size of newborns in which that oven was clearly made for.