just a warning...
I tried to start a 'quitting cigarettes' journal about how crabby I am and will remain, until I am washed clean and free from crack... I mean, nicotine. It is proving to be a little more difficult than I thought.
I figured, type all the emotions that are running though me, but ended up realizing I'm just slamming the keyboard and pounding it with my fists like a chimpanzee would hoping it would somehow bleed my emotions to the screen. this sucks and this sucks, hairy balls, bad. I hate that I ever allowed something to control me for 22 years. My own mother & husband cant control me so I'm not letting this mother fucker control me anymore.
Easier said than done. I quit a lot of shit in my life time. Jobs, relationships, weed, acid, diets (obviously). This is proving to be the hardest, but it's the last thing I am ever quitting (well I do still have that one 'white elephant in the room' thing but that's more like winning than quitting)! I am smoke free and hopefully tmw I will have better control over my thoughts and words because today it's just all muther shit Beelzebub cock die hate spit flap balls crap fling dammit! *sigh*