so here's a long, short version...
It's going to be pretty shocking for you to hear this... but I was / still am,(deep breath) a total adhd, wild, tomboy, child, shoulda had a bag of liquid Ritalin implanted, banned from all sweets, red No. 40 dyes & small animals, pees or nearly pees her pants often because way to busy doing 90 thousand other things such as chase squirrels, lick 9 volt batteries and talk directly into fans to hear my mind blowing robot voice, type of girl. I was my father's dream child. I know it.
Even the UPS man once led me on when he stopped a couple houses from my house. "Maybe Daddy's in disguise because that's how awesome he is" I thought. After I found out the UPS man wasn't my Dad, I lied and shouted "it's my birthday!" to him, hoping he would have a reserve package in the back for girls like me who lied about their birthdays. Instead the man in brown, just said "happy birthday idiot, now get away from my parcel truck!".
As the day went by, I started getting pretty fatigued from galloping after cars to look in the backseat, in case he was hiding or to see if they would stop near by and pop the trunk to spring my Dad out with millions of balloons holding signs that say "#1 Daughter" so I went in to sulk & fret that maybe my Dad forgot about me...
"CHOPCHOPCHOP POTATOPOTATOPOTATO CHOPCHOPCHOP POTATOPOTATO"
What is that massive noise, shaking the house? "chopchoppotatopotatopotato chop chop"... wait... Diiiid myy Daaad just arrive in a helicopter??? I jump kick, flip, roundoff, out the door and saw the most majestic thing my little eyes ever did see... I swear the white of my eyes turned black and my jaw dropped to the floor while my body immediately floated 90 feet in the air...
my handsome, wavy haired, hero... was in my driveway, smiling... sitting on a Harley...
My Dad was bungee cording my suitcase to the back of my seat while my Mom was waking up, recovered from her meltdown after breathing in a paper bag. She started borderline making out with me by kissing, crying & hugging me so much. We didn't have any helmets and I had already burnt my calf on the muffler while climbing on, but I could not have been more excited. We only got a couple of miles on the highway before I peed the seat.
3 hours later, we arrived to my Baba and Papa's house in Steubenville and my once shoulder length hair, was now one giant, beaver tailed, dreadlock, sticking straight out from the back of my head. My dried mouth, teeth still baring face, arms and legs are covered in welts from the bugs and/or pebbles landing on me at 65 mph. I returned home a few weeks later, looking like a boy since my hair had to be chopped off but that summer with my Daddy, Baba, Papa & Unka Non, was CHAMP! I was the happiest girl alive.
That winter, during Christmas break, my Dad showed up in his, equipped with seat belts and a hard outer, made of steel, Buick. My Mom was so relieved... up until she helped me put my suitcase in the back seat and empty Pabst Blue Ribbon beer cans fell out. Boy, my Dad just cant win with her, no wonder they got a divorce. I still to this day, remember the sounds those cans made when turning corners. It's so soothing to me.
Lastly, I have an embarrassing story...
(in the voice of Sophia Petrillo) Picture this, Columbus, 1980somethingish, my father's trailer...
It's happened to the best of us, so you cannot deny it. After too much cheese, red no. 40 dye or fast food for the month, I had an upset stomach. After I did my business, I was really hurting and walked out to the living room (aka weight slash trophy room) of my Dad's trailer and told him that my butthole hurt. Sorry, but it did.
My Dad tells me to "use the stuff, in the tube, in the bathroom". So... I found the stuff, in the tube, in the bathroom and used it. I believe the name on the tube was Icey Hot, not the lanolin that he intended for me to use. Anyhoo, I put it on my butthole. Sorry, but I did.
I was just a kid, I didn't know any better! I made a big poop and my hole hurt and I thought my Dad's advice on hero cream for buttholes, was gonna help. I tried to scorn & banish away the hurt by splashing water on it. That made the pain so fucking great that even to this day, in 2011, I still cringe when I hear the words "Icey Hot". I automatically think "oooooh, do not put that stuff on your butthole". This is forever embedded in my brain. Sorry, but I do.
To summarize my long, short version... I miss my father. He still to this day, swells and breaks my heart. I miss every simple & complicated thing about him... He was the greatest man and he loved everybody, but he especially loved me. I'm so privileged to have been his daughter and my memories of our crazy fun time, will never fade. Even the time we hit a rabbit and splattered on the windshield and he said "look... the heart is still beating" while trying to use the windshield wipers.